URGENT: UPDATE

Trace and Patricia are planning a new anthology for adoptees who are in reunion (or not yet in reunion) or searching for birth family and tribal relatives. Your photos and birth information will be published to help you! Please tell your adoptee friends.
Send an email to tracedemeyer@yahoo.com. Deadline for your stories is Nov. 1, 2013.

Please click LIKE (ah, thanks!)

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Blog Week: Who you need to read!

Participating in the unofficial "What Annoys you about the Adoption Establishment" Week - here are links to blogs who will be posting:
adoptionechoes.com/2012/02/27/why-the-adoption-establishment-annoys-me/

Now is the time to share these posts with your friends AND sign up and subscribe to these blogs (via email) - and the greatest thing you can do is retweet, share on Facebook and comment - every blogger LOVES that!
I love my readers very much - and you adoptees teach me every day and I appreciate you all! ...Trace

" QUOTE"
“My problem is secrecy. I believe that perpetually secret adoptions assure un-accountability and lack of transparency. And secret adoptions are only the tip of the iceberg. The secrecy permeates the process: secret identities, secret parents, secret records, secret foster care providers, secret social workers, secret judges and lawyers (all their identities are sealed, typically), secret physicians, secret statistics and, in the case of some adoption-oriented organizations, secret budgets and secret boards of directors. In any social practice, when people in positions of power hide behind masks, one can be pretty sure that they have something to hide.”
             -Albert S. Wei, Special Advisor to the Bastard Nation Executive Committee

Monday, February 27, 2012

Blog Week: What bugs me about the Adoption Establishment








SHOTGUN ADOPTION
http://www.thenation.com/article/shotgun-adoption?page=0,0
This article is from 2009 but offers an interesting insider view of the Adoption Agencies agenda and their role in coercion of young women to relinquish their babies, instead of supporting them so they can keep their child.

Excerpt:
Carol Jordan, a 32-year-old pharmacy technician, was living in Greenville, South Carolina, in 1999 when she became pregnant. She'd already decided against abortion, but she was struggling financially and her boyfriend was unsupportive. Looking through the Yellow Pages for help, she spotted an ad under "crisis pregnancies" for Bethany Christian Services.

Within hours of calling, Jordan (who asked to be identified with a pseudonym) was invited to Bethany's local office to discuss free housing and medical care. Bethany, it turned out, did not simply specialize in counseling pregnant women. It is the nation's largest adoption agency, with more than eighty-five offices in fifteen countries.

...instances of coercion in adoption stretch back nearly seventy years.

...CPCs (Crisis Pregnancy Centers) might persuade reluctant women by casting adoption as redemption for unwed mothers' "past failures" and a triumph over "selfishness, an 'evil' within themselves."

...CPCs were wary of looking like "baby sellers"...

Care Net runs 1,160 CPCs nationwide and partners with Heartbeat International to host a national CPC hot line.

... National Council for Adoption (NCFA), the most prominent adoption lobby group in the country, in the company of other benefactors like Bethany; Texas maternity home giant Gladney; the Good Shepherd Sisters, a Catholic order serving "young women of dissolute habits"; and the Mormon adoption agency LDS Family Services.

The federally funded NCFA has a large role in spreading teachings like these through its Infant Adoption Awareness Training Program, a Department of Health and Human Services initiative it helped pass in 2000 that has promoted adoption to nearly 18,000 CPC, school, state, health and correctional workers since 2002.

(Blog Week: http://landofgazillionadoptees.com/2012/02/22/secret-message-for-other-bloggers-about-the-week-of-february-26th-aka-why-the-adoption-establishment-annoys-the-heck-out-of-us-blog-week/#comment-1867)

I added the bold in the excerpt so you can notice the main players in the industry. Stay tuned to this blog - more of my rants coming this week...Trace

Sunday, February 26, 2012

BLOG WEEK: MY TOP 5

Kevin Ost-Vollmers and Shelise Gieseke at Land of Gazillion Adoptees Blog said Feb. 26th begins BLOG WEEK to answer this question: “Why does the adoption establishment annoy the heck out of us (adoptees)?” http://landofgazillionadoptees.com/2012/02/22/secret-message-for-other-bloggers-about-the-week-of-february-26th-aka-why-the-adoption-establishment-annoys-the-heck-out-of-us-blog-week/

MY MISSION today is to answer that question!  Ok, so why does the adoption establishment bug the heck out of me?

Here is my Top 5.

1- (Lack of) Disclosure - Old archaic laws are on the books in many states and it seems every state is having some kind of major meltdown or fiscal crisis. Adoptees who are fighting to gain access to our birth records can’t seem to grab their attention or warrant the lawmaker’s time or serious consideration - unless maybe the lawmaker is an adoptee.  

Yup, we know adoptees are low on the totem pole and status meter and that annoys me.

What are “they” thinking? Oh, it’s obvious - the status quo - let’s not rock the boat, just leave the law as is and let's not disclose information every adoptee needs and deserves, and definitely let’s not disturb the Adoption Industry who lobbies Wash. DC with fancy dinners and big campaign contributions. (Lack of medical history is a huge problem for many adoptees, including me)

I can hear the lobbyist pounding on their tables, “adoptees should be grateful they were adopted.” The adoption industry is a billion dollar business and they don’t want to lose a single dollar in profits. It’s about money. Even now, the adoption industry does not appreciate adoptees or ask how we feel or acknowledge what we endured. We are not invited to sit at their table or join in discussions. That really bugs me!

2- Secrecy - Over and over and over “they” claim our natural mothers demanded secrecy yet many mothers who lost children after closed adoptions are saying, “damn the secrecy, damn the laws, where are my children?”

Uniting all these mothers with all the adoptees on the same stage, fighting the discrimination, shame, secrecy and old laws would be powerful!

Sadly it seems both are on their own warpath to be heard.  Uniting our voices on this issue - especially natural mothers and adoptees who have been silenced for too long - is what is urgently needed. Big crowds marching on Washington DC would get "their" attention.  

Blogs (my favorites are listed in the right column) are enlightening the world to our plight. Using our voices, activism and blogging for change is good.

3- Identity - Adoptees are denied our basic human rights to the truth of our ancestry, our tribe(s), our birth name, our family names, our background (which is our identity), our medical history, our original birth certificate (OBC) and information about both our natural parents.

I noticed writing my memoir how adoptees will say they are looking for their mothers -- but we do have a dad somewhere and possibly siblings - and we do need to know who they are and where they are! Adoptees need to add “dad and siblings” to their list of needs when facing adoption industry discrimination and current adoption laws.

The bias in the adoption industry is to protect the adoptive parents and seal our identity so no one will ever find out the truth. That deeply annoys me.

If you are Native American, you cannot be enrolled without documentation and proof. If you are a Split Feather/adoptee, you not only lose your identity but your treaty rights and all that goes along with being an enrolled tribal member. Just remember your identity is Native American with or without tribal enrollment.  We must unite and form a national organization to teach about the government’s use of closed adoption to hurt and destroy American Indian families and cripple future generations.

4- New Identification Cards? Yup, as of 2005 more states will implement this new country-wide identification card. And guess what? Adoptees who cannot produce a real birth certificate (OBC) may (let me stress “MAY”) not be able to renew a driver’s license, vote, or apply for or renew a passport. That scares me and bugs me equally! Those ignorant lawmakers who wrote the Real ID Act of 2005 (and passed it) didn’t consider adoptees or how this would affect us? We pay them big salaries because they represent us. What were they thinking? They were not thinking of adoptees, perhaps 10 million of us in the USA.

5 - Gratitude - Over and over I hear adoptees say - almost by script - how grateful they were to be adopted by their parents. I call this our gratitude attitude. We get stuck there mentally and it’s hard to move on to empowering ourselves to regain our birth rights and identity. I know my gratitude silenced me. Gratitude meant I could not talk to my adoptive parents about anything - how I felt, what I planned to do, or even ask them questions about my adoption file. Laws prevented me from knowing anything about myself and my first family.

AND I found out my new parents were not really informed when they adopted me in 1957. They had basic information like I was illegitimate, how my mom was unmarried.

AND my adoption file didn’t include medical history. Really. Apparently the adoption industry didn’t think about the child at all when compiling information for the adoption hearing. It was about convenience and expedience for adoptive parents. Really.
Looking back the adoption industry should be so embarrassed and horrified they didn’t get our medical history when they “sold” us to our new parents.

So, what about the Adoption Establishment annoys you? Please leave a comment.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Indian Child Welfare, three interviews

Click here: http://stephaniewoodard.blogspot.com/

Indian Child Welfare Act, three interviews; part one

By Stephanie Woodard
Excerpt:
Native parents face extraordinary hurdles in keeping their children—including cultural misunderstandings and legal barriers that are unimaginable to many non-Native people. In this second decade of the 21st century, American Indian children in states across the country are still taken from their families and placed in foster care or adoptive homes at a much higher rate than other kids—just as they were before the passage of the 1978 Indian Child Welfare Act, a federal statute intended to help keep Native families intact.
In Alaska, Native children make up 20 percent of the child population but 51 percent of those a state agency has placed in foster care; Montana, Nebraska, Oregon, Utah, North Dakota and Washington also have highly skewed numbers. In Minnesota, the percentage of Native children in foster care isn’t just high, it’s gotten worse in recent years. “Disproportionalities exist nationwide at every stage in the process, starting right from the initial reports of possible abuse or neglect of a Native child,” says Kristy Alberty, Cherokee, spokeswoman for the National Indian Child Welfare Association.
As those who read this blog are aware, the removal of Indian Children was supposed to end with the ICWA of 1978 and sadly, it's still a crisis and unacceptable. Poverty is a powerful weapon and is still being used against Indian people.  Trace

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Catholic Bishops Thwart Civil Rights for Adoptees

Catholic Bishops Thwart Civil Rights for Adoptees Politicker NJ       
February 19, 2012

By Susan Perry
With the Catholic bishops much in the news lately – as they protest what they see as politics intruding into their religious life – I’d like to offer another perspective.
For the past 10 years, as I have testified in Trenton for the Adoptee Birthright Bill, I have watched as religious interests have violated my civil rights in a very personal way. Every year, the NJ Catholic Conference of Bishops lobbies to defeat an adoption reform bill that would allow adoptees, as adults, to secure their original birth certificates (OBCs). This opposition is based on unfounded fears and misinformation.
The bishops do have money, however, and they are significant players in New Jersey’s political arena.
First, a little background. Currently, an adopted adult in New Jersey has no right, by law, to his or her OBC. When a child is adopted, a new “amended” certificate is issued that lists the adoptive parents as the child’s mother and father. It doesn’t matter why an adoptee might need or desire to know her own roots – her only recourse at present is to initiate a search that often requires a lot of time and money.One would think from the Bishops’ unyielding stance on this issue that the idea of adult adoptee access is new and untested. Yet England opened its records to adult adoptees in 1975. The states of Kansas and Alaska never sealed adoptees’ birth certificates. Alabama reinstated access in 2000, having only sealed records from adoptees in 1991. Oregon approved an access law in 1998, which took effect in June of 2000. New Hampshire’s access law took effect in 2005, and Maine’s in 2009. Rhode Island’s governor signed an access bill into law last summer.
Here’s what we know from the collected data. By 2011 in Oregon, 10,410 adoptees had applied for and received their OBCs. Eighty-five birth parents requested no contact during that time period, and not one complaint was issued about an adoptee approaching a birth parent against his or her will. In New Hampshire, 1,315 adoptees received their OBCs from 2005 through 2011, while just 12 birth parents requested no contact. In the two years after Maine enacted its bill, 848 adoptees received their OBCs, and eight birth parents requested no contact.In view of these statistics, the Bishops’ claim that adult adoptee access violates the privacy of birth mothers is absurd.
Even opponents of access admit that there was never any legal provision assuring a birth mother that her identity would remain a “forever” secret to her offspring. And data from NJ DYFS shows that 95 percent of birth mothers are open to contact from their relinquished children. In place of adult adoptee access bills, which have been upheld upon appeal by the Supreme Courts of Tennessee and Oregon, as well as the U.S. Court of Appeals (6th District), the Bishops suggest mutual consent registries or confidential intermediaries. Yet registries have been found repeatedly not to work – New York State has had one since 1984, and 95 percent of registrants are still waiting for a match.
The intermediary system is degrading and fundamentally unfair – a fact that perhaps only those who have experienced it can appreciate.I used one and had to pay $400 for the service – to try to retrieve a birth record that technically belongs to me. Obviously, I never signed any contract approving the practice of sealed and amended records, and we have plenty of information to show that the system does not serve an adoptee well. I resented the fact that I was not permitted to conduct my personal affairs on my own. I am not a child, yet the process placed me in a child-like position. My agency was lukewarm about adoptee access and was therefore not very accommodating. Eventually, I abandoned the intermediary process and found my birth mother with the help of a private investigator. For the record, she is that woman the opposition says it wishes to protect. She had never told anyone about me except for her own mother, and she did not wish to have continuing contact. She was, however, willing to share medical and personal information that would be helpful to me, and the data tells us the vast majority of women would be willing to do the same. Lack of genetic information can be life threatening, and there is no rational reason to force adoptees to live in the Dark Ages going forward.
The facts show adoptions increase, and abortions decrease, with more openness. Kansas, which never sealed its records, has always had a lower abortion rate and a higher per capita adoption rate than the four states surrounding it.
The Bishops’ position is unreasonable and insulting to every member of the adoption triad. It is insulting to me, to my dear mother and father who raised me to become a sensitive and responsible adult, and to my birth mother, who the Bishops depict as a helpless child in need of protective custody. Perhaps most telling is that many Catholic women who have worked in the adoption field do not agree with the Bishops’ stance. In 1992, the executive directors of Catholic Charities in all five dioceses of NJ recommended to the NJ Catholic Conference of Bishops that adult adoptees be allowed access to their OBCs with no strings attached.
The Bishops rejected the recommendation then, and this past June, they urged Governor Christie to reject the access bill that had passed in both the Senate and Assembly by substantial margins. The governor’s “conditional” veto gutted the bill, as the Bishops and other opponents had requested, and replaced it with an expensive and unworkable confidential intermediary system. So when the Catholic Bishops complain about their religious convictions being violated, my response to them is this: Will you continue to trample on my civil rights and the rights of other adult adoptees to secure their own birth records this legislative cycle? Will you continue to support an outdated system of secrecy and lies that serves less than one percent of those who actually live adoption? Or will you show compassion, study the literature, and advocate for the civil rights of those who do not possess the political power that you do?
Susan Perry is a member of NJCARE, an adoptee's rights advocacy organization

Let me add this quote from a student protest at Brown University in Rhode Island many years ago: "Keep your rosaries off our ovaries."   Trace

Sunday, February 19, 2012

NONFICTION: Rez Life #NDN

NONFICTION: "Rez Life," by David Treuer StarTribune.com
At the book's heart is the reservation, "the paradoxically least and most American place in the 21st century," the land and communities that endure as places of Indian control and identity. "Most often rez life is associated with tragedy," he writes, yet "what one finds on reservations is more than scars, tears, blood, and noble sentiment. There is beauty in Indian life. ... We love our reservations."
Treuer embeds these ideas within stories about modern Indians. Among those he portrays: Dan and Dennis Jones -- forced to go to a Canadian boarding school where they were raped by an Indian man hired as a "role model" -- now strong, healed men who are helping others rise above trauma. Helen Bryan Johnson, whose refusal to pay $147 in taxes on her reservation trailer home led to a landmark U.S. Supreme Court ruling that allowed casinos to flourish. Brooke Mosay Amman, an Ojibwe educator cut out of tribal membership by "blood quantum" rules that Treuer sees as the worst way to define an Indian. And, most personally and painfully, his 83-year-old grandfather, Eugene Seelye, a D-day veteran who killed himself in 2007.
"Rez Life" is not just about Indians, but about America. "You can tell a lot about America, about its sins and ideals, by looking at ... a kind of American who was supposed to have died out a long time ago," Treuer writes.In the end, he concludes: "We might just make it." This impassioned, important book may well help make it so.
Pamela Miller is a Star Tribune night metro editor.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

One Small Sacrifice now available on Create Space (Amazon)

One Small Sacrifice: A Memoir
Lost Children of the Indian Adoption Projects
 

List Price: $15.99
6" x 9" (15.24 x 22.86 cm)
Black & White on White paper
284 pages
Blue Hand Books
ISBN-13: 978-0615582153 (Custom)
ISBN-10: 061558215X
BISAC: Biography & Autobiography / Personal Memoirs
Book Description: Award-winning journalist Trace A. DeMeyer's second edition has even more of her remarkable story and the disturbing history of closed adoption used as a weapon to destroy tribal culture and break up families.
It's an unforgettable memoir...What is known about the Indian Adoption Projects and the aftermath has been pretty much secret . . . Until now.
A reader praised her book: The journey, the courage and openness of your work. It's very inspiring. The way 'Small Sacrifice' shares itself . . . it's as if the book were speaking . . . holding a talking stick with us all gathered in a circle . . . we come together through your sacrifice. 
 
 
I've added more of my memoir and a new design - you will LOVE it!
Buy direct from me (paypal or personal check) and I'll sign it for you! Email me for more info: tracedemeyer@yahoo.com

Friday, February 17, 2012

Cherokee Nation maintaining Sequoyah orphan cemetery

Read here: CN maintaining Sequoyah orphan cemetery

Video

By TESINA JACKSON, Reporter
TAHLEQUAH, Okla. – Across from Sequoyah High School along Highway 62 in the Southgate Business Park is a small, bordered area where the Cherokee Nation has placed 32 stones to represent a cemetery that went forgotten for decades.
The cemetery, commonly called the Sequoyah orphan cemetery, began for children who attended Sequoyah during its days as an orphanage.
After the Civil War, Cherokee children were orphaned because of fighting between Cherokees. In 1871, the Cherokee National Council authorized the orphanage’s construction about four miles southwest of Tahlequah.
“All of the stones that are over at the cemetery are actually stones that were salvaged from the third floor of the Cherokee Nation jail facility,” CN Natural Resources Group Leader Pat Gwin said. The jail no longer stands, and its material is stored at the Cherokee Heritage Center. “We used that to make the rock walkways and the rock headstones.”
The orphanage also housed as an institution for the handicapped, and Sequoyah teacher Don Franklin believes that patients who died at the institution are buried in the cemetery.

tesina-jackson@cherokee.org
 

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Case argues systematic discrimination against First Nations children

Case argues systematic discrimination against First Nations children
 
OTTAWA — (Feb 13, 2012) Sweet-smelling smoke from a smudging ceremony filled an Ottawa courtroom Monday as a controversial case began that could open the door for First Nations residents to argue they are being discriminated against en masse by the federal government.  An elder named Flying Eagle Woman lit a sprig of sweetgrass at the Federal Court hearing. She urged the court to stand with the creator when it makes its decision and prayed that everyone present would "come together with one mind and one body.
"With the ceremony aside, the legal wrangling began. Facts that could prove the federal government is discriminating against aboriginal children by underfunding child-welfare services on reserves need to be heard in court, said lawyers for the Canadian Human Rights Commission.
The commission is one of several groups appealing a 2011 ruling by the Canadian Human Rights Tribunal — which the commission oversees. In that ruling, the tribunal dismissed a discrimination case brought by the Assembly of First Nations and the First Nations Child and Family Caring Society of Canada. The complaint argued the consistent underfunding of child-welfare services on reserves leads to poverty, poor housing, substance abuse and a vast over-representation of aboriginal children in state care. 
However, the federal government is arguing that because it merely sends funds to band managers — who themselves administer the services — the government cannot be held responsible for the services delivered. The government also says the question itself is invalid because it funds services on reserves, while provincial governments are responsible for services to the rest of Canadians, and that comparing two governments is both "unreasonable" and nonsensical. 
The "comparator" argument was used in the Human Rights Tribunal's initial decision to dismiss the case in 2011 before any of the main evidence had been heard.But First Nations Child and Family Caring Society lawyer Nicholas McHaffie told the court that comparing services to another group is only one "evidentiary tool."
"It is not the only way to show discrimination," he said. "There may be different pieces of the evidentiary puzzle needed to prove discrimination — they all need to be heard."
Human Rights Commission lawyer Philippe Dufresne told the hearing Monday that "the court must look at the facts, examine the services and determine if there is suffering."Currently, five per cent of aboriginal children living on reserve reside in care, away from their families. That's eight times more than other Canadian children, according to testimony by former auditor general Sheila Fraser at a parliamentary committee hearing in 2010.
In 1990, the federal government adopted a policy requiring child welfare services provided to First Nations children on reserves to meet provincial standards, be reasonably comparable with services for children off reserves and be culturally appropriate. But Fraser's audits consistently found the federal government "had not sufficiently taken into account provincial standards and other policy requirements when it established levels of funding for First Nations agencies to operate child welfare services on reserve."
"You must keep in mind the individual families who are affected by the dismissal of this complaint," McHaffie said.
Jonathan Thompson, the director of health and social development at the Assembly of First Nations, said he wasn't surprised when the government "decided to argue this on a technicality.""We've done report after report — both with the government and on our own — and they have all come out with overwhelming evidence of inequity, and yet nothing gets done," he said during an intermission in proceedings. Thompson said the government is trying to prevent the facts from being placed on the record because it knows the evidence against it will show that discrimination exists.
Cindy Blackstock, executive director of the First Nations Child and Family Caring Society of Canada, who has been a driving force behind this case, has said if the government is allowed to use the comparator argument, "that would basically immunize the government from any discrimination or human rights claim relating to its funding policies and procedures on reserve." Blackstock has been gathering support for this cause since 2007. More than 9,000 people worldwide are participating in the I am a Witness campaign, pledging to watch the proceedings — in person if they can, or on the Aboriginal People's Television Network, which will be televising the review.
One of over 100 witnesses who attended the hearing Monday is Madeleine Keshen, a 12-year-old student at Featherston Drive Public School in Ottawa. She's part of a grades 5 to 6 class that came to the court to "stand up against injustices."
"It's not fair that they get less than we do," said the blond, blue-eyed little girl. "It's just because of who they are, and it's not right."
"People are watching," said Blackstock. "We've never been this organized before."
The case will continue Tuesday and Wednesday when the court will hear from lawyers for the Assembly of First Nations, the Chiefs of Ontario and the Attorney General, on behalf of the federal government.
tesmith(at)postmedia.com
Twitter.com/teresasmithpn
Read more: http://www.canada.com/life/Case+argues+systematic+discrimination+against+First+Nations+children/6145359/story.html#ixzz1mTXCAeJd

First Nations' Child Welfare broken

First nations' child welfare broken

Excerpt: According to former auditor-general Sheila Fraser, first nations children are being placed in care at six to eight times the rate of other Canadian children. Most of us are probably familiar with that uncomfortable feeling of staying in a stranger's home, perhaps being billeted for a sports event or while on vacation. We don't know the rules, the expectations, or the way things work there.
Now imagine how that feeling must be magnified for children who have just been ripped away from their family. Worse still for first nations children placed in non-aboriginal homes, adding culture shock to the mix.
"We know that children in care are more likely [than those who stay with their families] to have substance misuse issues, more likely to have involvement with the criminal justice system, more likely to have mental and physical health concerns and are less likely to succeed at school," said Blackstock, who worked for 13 years on the front lines of child welfare and is now executive director of the First Nations Child and Family Caring Society of Canada.
There are situations where removing a child from their home is absolutely necessary, such as cases of sexual abuse where the child cannot be protected by a non-offending adult. Blackstock argues in many more cases, however, children are taken because of neglect resulting from poor housing and nutrition, substance abuse or the inability of impoverished families to meet the needs of a child with special needs.
Many of these problems could be solved in the home, allowing children to stay with their families, if the resources were made available. But for first nations families on reserves, the resources aren't there.
According to a study cited by first nations groups, children on reserves receive 22 per cent less funding per child for child welfare than other Canadian children, particularly for services that would help them stay with their families.
Blackstock says social workers dealing with first nations children are under-trained on the factors driving them into foster care, under-resourced, over-worked and overwhelmed.
Children on reserves are caught between governments.

Monday, February 13, 2012

The Thick Dark Fog movie trailer


Read more here: http://www.thickdarkfog.com/?page_id=120

Thick Dark Fog" Official Trailer
http://vimeo.com/user9741689/trailer

Award winning documentary - The Thick Dark Fog.

Walter Littlemoon attended a federal Indian boarding school in South Dakota sixty years ago. The mission of many of these schools in 1950, was still to “kill the Indian and save the man.” The children were not allowed to be Indians – to speak their language or express their culture or native identity in any way at the risk of being severely beaten, humiliated or abused. What effects did these actions cause?

Many Indians, like Walter, lived with this unresolved trauma into adulthood, acting it out through alcoholism and domestic violence. At age 58, Walter decided to write and publish his memoirs as a way to explain his past abusive behaviors to his estranged children. But dealing with the memories of his boarding school days nearly put an end to it.

“The Thick Dark Fog” tells the story of how Walter confronted the “thick dark fog” of his past so that he could renew himself and his community.

For more information visit: thickdarkfog.com

Saturday, February 11, 2012

NEW Book Cover!

My new paperback will be available in a few weeks on Amazon. The 2nd Edition is already on Kindle! Cover by Barb Burke.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Colonization is an Act of Genocide

The following appplies in North America but since it is not taught in schools, apparently Native People are not considered to be the colonized. I beg to differ... Trace

Maori and Indigenous Analysis Ltd

Colonisation is an act of Genocide

Màori researcher Dr Leonie Pihama says the use of the term holocaust is an
appropriate and valid description of the impact of colonial genocide on Màori. A
Radio New Zealand panel featured Taranaki Màori academic Keri Opai using the
word holocaust to describe colonisation for Màori. The NZ Jewish Council said
his use of the term was "diminishing and trivialising of the Jewish Holocaust
experience". Dr Pihama says the NZ Jewish council are "basically incorrect" in
their response. She states "The term holocaust refers to deliberate acts of
genocide and ethnocide against groups of people, and that is exactly what
occurred here in Aotearoa. There was a deliberate and planned process of
colonisation that sought the extermination of our people. That is clear and well
documented".

United Nations conventions define genocide as "any of the following acts
committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical,
racial or religious group , as such: as killing members of the group;

(i) killing members of the group;

(ii) causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group;

(ii) deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to
bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part;

(iii) imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group;

(iv) forcibly transferring children of this group to another group

The definition of genocide by the United Nations is clearly one that reflects
the experience of Màori people and there needs to be a greater awareness of the
reality of the history of this country and of other Indigenous Nations. "There
is clear historical evidence of acts of genocide that were undertaken by
successive white settler Presidents in America. Hitler modelled many of his
oppressive acts on the forced removal and murder of Native Amerian people and
the imprisonment of thousands in concentration camps" states Dr Pihama.

Dr Pihama notes that Màori use of the term 'holocaust' should not be viewed
as in any way diminishing the experience of Jewish people and others that were
targeted by Hitler and Nazi Germany. She says clearly that Maori have always
actively acknowledged that history and the impact of it. Dr Pihama explains
"This is not about comparing experiences. The reference by Mr Opai is directed
to the historical trauma and post traumatic stress experienced by our tupuna and
generations of our people who continue to live with that impact on our own
land".

http://www.scoop. co.nz/stories/ PO1202/S00076/ colonisation- is-an-act- of-genocide. htm

Closed adoptions are a form of cultural genocide... Trace

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Looking for guest bloggers...

I am taking a hiatus to handle some personal issues that need my time and undivided attention. This blog will still be up and you can read earlier blog posts from the archive. There is plenty to read since I started posting way back in 2009.
If anyone wants to write a guest column, email me: tracedemeyer@yahoo.com.
Keep good thoughts for me... your prayers are appreciated...
Mitakuye oyasin...
Trace

Friday, February 3, 2012

Jennifer Lauck on how her birth mother's sexual history affected her own

This incredible interview with Jennifer Lauck, author of FOUND, struck a chord with me. Please read it:
http://www.examiner.com/open-adoption-in-national/jennifer-lauck-on-how-her-birth-mother-s-sexual-history-affected-her-own

Excerpt:
There has been a belief that the moment a child is taken from her original mother she ceases being that woman's child. This is one of the reasons many want to adopt a baby rather than an older child. They believe they are getting a "blank slate." Many people will go as far as to adopt from far away lands--as far away as possible -- so that they get the "blank slate" and as a bonus eliminate the chance that the original mother will reappear and take away what supposedly belongs to the adoptive parent -- the child, the relationship, the connection, the concept of family and so on. There is great ignorance in this thinking--similar to the thinking years ago that babies don't feel pain and thus were operated on without the mercy of anesthesia or pain blockers. Of course, science has now shown us otherwise. Babies feel pain. And you cannot stop a child from being connected to the original mother. Yes, you can take legal measures, you can take geographic measures, but you cannot change the fact of the biological link.
To further expand on this, consider this remarkable passage from Meredith Hall, author of Without a Map: "women carry fetal cells from all the babies they have carried. Crossing the defensive boundaries of our immune system and mixing with our own cells, the fetal cells circulate in the mother's bloodstream for decades after each birth. The body does not tolerate foreign cells, which trigger illness and rejection. But a mother's body incorporates into her own the cells of her children as if they recognize each other. This fantastic melding of two selves, mother and child is called microchimerism....the mother's cells are also carried in the child. During gestation, maternal cells slip through the barriers of defense and join her child's cells as they pulse through his veins...of course the implications are stunning. Mother and child do not fully separate at birth. We do not lose each other at that moment of severance."

As I wrote in my memoir One Small Sacrifice, the new science of birth psychology will forever change the way the world views adoption and its impact.
There are follow-up interviews with Jennifer at that website, a virtual blog tour - so please read them, too... Trace

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Toronto Birthmother story

I had to share this. A birthmother wrote in response to this: http://splitfeathers.blogspot.com/2011/04/red-road-documentary-from-canada-60s_11.html

I am so happy that this lost spirit has found his roots after living a life of not knowing where he fit in! I have never given up the hope that one day my son who was taken from me at birth will somehow find his true family. I just hope that it isn't too late for us to join each other. I have always believed that my son is out there someplace and he will come home soon. He was taken from me on October 17,1976 from Toronto General Hospital. I was told that he died at birth. I never was asked if I wanted to see or hold him. To tell him how much his mommy loves him. I was just a young mother with a child of 11 months at home and a baby that I so wanted to bring home. I never was told where or when he was buried never laid eyes on him ever. I felt that something wasn't right but I was to with drawn from the loss that I just couldn't bare the loss. To this day the thoughts of it burns at my insides. I never knew about the 60's or 70's scoop until just with-in the last few years. That is when I got my answers to what happen. I believed that my baby boy was more then likely one of the native children that was scooped that day. I hope that this man isn't bitter towards his true Mom for what he went through. May the Creator bless him with true happiness in his life now that he has found his true identity as a Proud Native Man. From this story of this man it gives me the added hope that my son to will find me some day.
Signed BM (which means birthmom)

Remember this adoptees - closed adoption was used as a weapon! First Nations Families, please start your search now...If you need my help, email me... Trace (tracedemeyer@yahoo.com)

 

Interview: Buffy Sainte-Marie

Buffy is not only a world famous Native American music legend but she's also an adoptee. I mention her and many others in my memoir One Small Sacrifice.
As I wrote in the Talking Stick article "Generation after Generation We are Coming Home": Being creative is an effective outlet for grief this enormous... (meaning our loss of identity and tribal family as adoptees/Lost Birds is healed with creativity and using our gifts.)
Like Buffy, we all have gifts...
Read the interview here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mike-ragogna/better-late-than-never-a_b_1172096.html

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

One Small Sacrifice on Facebook


One Small Sacrifice: A Memoir, on Kindle now, www.amazon.com










One Small Sacrifice: A Memoir has its own Facebook Page!
https://www.facebook.com/Splitfeathers
Please click and join many other adoptees and supporters who share news, advice and information on my book page.
The brand new 2nd Edition of my memoir is on Kindle now and will be published in paperback in early February! This new edition has more discoveries about my opening my adoption.
Thanks, Migwetch and Pilamaye for your kindness, support and much-appreciated comments on this blog...
Trace

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Celebrity Adopter Sheryl Crow (not one word about privacy and trauma)

My thoughts? What is classic news coverage when a celebrity adopts?
Bravo for Madonna, Brad and Angelina, Elton John, Ms. Sheryl Crow, and all the others.
We know it's not possible to hide anything when you're the celebrity and you adopt.
Public Relations is for us to think how great and wonderful the adopter is and how lucky the adoptee is, right?
Let's take Sheryl Crow and all the news last year when she adopted again.
Had Ms. Crow considered how the news would affect her sons Levi and Wyatt when they're adult men? They did not choose to be abandoned or adopted. They had no privacy. How will they feel being called the adopted sons of Sheryl Crow forever? Did Entertainment Tonight consider the boys rights before they showed their photos?
Does Madonna or Crow have a clue how adoptees are treated by their peers and bio-siblings in the real world?
How will Crow shield them from the cruel bastard label and the embarrassment they were abandoned by their own mothers? Will Levi and Wyatt be expected to show their gratitude to her and be silent around her about everything else?
Or were these open adoptions so the boys will know their natural mother's identity, their ancestry and their medical history? We can only hope, right?
Did Ms. Crow hire a surrogate? That's never mentioned but it won't change the boys emotional trauma.
What horrible thing happened that her sons were not able to be raised by their own mothers? That's carefully omitted in adoption propaganda and celebrity stories. They'll direct our attention to the famous rich person and have us forget the birth mothers and her loss entirely. The adoptee is considered lucky and now rich.
Do celebrities ever wonder how an adoptee feels after adoption? 
Crow is rich and famous, but her boys will still require truth, reality and plenty of emotional support! Makes you wonder if Crow has a clue about birth psychology, their severe narcissistic injury, PTSD and an adoptee's primal wound (read Nancy Verrier). There's trouble ahead if Crow denies it exists.
Publicity fills the ego of the celebrity narcissist and the hungry public eats it up.
We are supposed to believe Crow SAVED these boys, right? That's one of the adoption industry's clever ways to keep its business running smooth and encourage more women to abandon their children for adoption to the rich, better-off and famous. Forget those pesky rumors about reactive attachment disorders in adoptees!
Sappy stories about MS. CROW ahd her two adopted sons is great publicity for her obviously- but not for the two boys who will have to deal with their adopee label and adoption trauma their entire life... Trace

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