Adoptee Rights Day in Chicago August 6th

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

National Adoptee Rights Group Travels To Illinois to Free Original Birth Certificates
American Adoptees Denied Civil Rights to Birth Certificate

Due to archaic laws that are a legacy of cultural shame stigmatizing infertility, sex, unwed mothers, and adoption, over 90% of all American adoptees will face a life of discrimination unless current laws are changed.

Wanting their civil rights restored, the Adoptee Rights Coalition; http://www.adopteerightscoalition.com; adopted persons, their families and friends will be gathering in Chicago, Illinois, during the National Conference of State Legislators’ annual summit. The 5th annual demonstration for the equal rights of adopted persons in the United States includes a public rally and march.

Less Than 5% of American Adoptees Have Free Adoption Records
In the United States, only six states (Alabama, Alaska, Kansas, Maine, New Hampshire and Oregon) allow adopted persons unrestricted access to their original birth certificates upon the age of 18. While other states have made some progress, there are still 44 American states not allowing an adopted persons to be treated the same as a non adopted person, and in most states, they are still completely denied access to their own records for life. All adoptees not living in an open records state, whether in an open or closed adoption, will find that their original birth certificate will forever be sealed away under current legislation.

The participants of the Adoptee Rights Demonstration believe that all people in the United States should be treated equally; not based the state of residence or the circumstances of their birth. To do otherwise is discrimination. Adoptee Rights volunteers help educate state representatives about the need to introduce legislation that will allow adopted persons in the United States equal access to their original birth certificates.

Marching to Restore The Civil Rights of Adoptees
On August 6, 2012, at 10 am, The Adoptee Rights Demonstration will march at the National Conference of State Legislatures’ annual summit, being held at the at the McCormick Place Convention Center Chicago, 2301 South Lake Shore Drive.

Members and volunteers of the Adoptee Rights Coalition will also be exhibiting at the NCSL Legislative Summit. Adult adoptees from around the world will be joined by the parents who relinquished them, their adoptive parents who raised them, plus various family and supporters asking for one simple act; change the laws so they can be treated equally.

Many Reps Are Clueless Regarding State Discrimination Laws
When asked about the current adoption laws in their own state, many state legislators will find that the Adoptee Rights Volunteers know much more about the laws then they do.

"We have found that much of the general public, including many elected officials, are woefully unaware of the legal discrimination sanctioned in this country. Even adoptive parents and birthmothers/fathers have no idea that the laws are still decades old. If every caring adoptive parent knew that they were raising a child to be discriminated against, then they would be marching with us in Chicago," states Jeff Hancock, adoptee and demonstration organizer.

There is no legislation or any adoption contract that states why an adopted person is not entitled to his or her own birth certificate. Most of the laws were created to "protect" the infant from the stigma of bastardization, but those provisions are no longer needed, nor wanted by most parties involved. Those who would continue to deny adult adoptees access to their original birth certificates base their erroneous beliefs on information that is not supported by historical nor statistical facts garnered from both US and international states with open records legislation in place.

Adoptee Rights legislation is pending in various states including New Jersey, Missouri, New York, and Pennsylvania.

To learn more about the Adoptee Rights Demonstration, adoption legislation, and what you can do to support adoptee rights, contact The Adoptee Rights Coalition at:

ARC@Adopteerightscoalition.com
http://adopteerighscoalition.com

Find us on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/AdopteeRightsCoalition and on Twitter @AdopteeRightsCo for legislative updates and community all year.


Many of you who cannot attend The 2012 Adoptee Rights Demonstration have asked what you can do to help. We want you to contact your local media outlets- newspapers, TV/Radio stations or any on-line publications your community may have. Just copy and paste our press prelease and send it- by letter, email, via tweet/bog- whatever outlet your local media has. Those of you will will be joining us in Chicago should send out this release, too. It makes it even more personal!

Thank you for all of your help this year - Chicago will be be our largest demonstration in our history! Our voices are being heard, and changes are happening!

THIS MOVEMENT IS WORKING! ...xoxox...Trace

Full compliance with Indian Child Welfare Act, not its dismantling, is needed | NewsOK.com

Full compliance with Indian Child Welfare Act, not its dismantling, is needed | NewsOK.com

Archival Photo

"Those who are quick to call for ICWA's undoing should consider the pleas of the approximately 2,000 American Indian parents who contact our organization each year, as well as desperate family members who feel powerless to stop the unwarranted removal of a child. No family should go through the pain of an unnecessary removal, not a birth family or a prospective adoptive family.

"A failure to comply with the law led to Baby Veronica's original placement outside of her family and the tragic custody battle that ensued. What's needed is full compliance with the law, not its dismantling."

Terry Cross is executive director of the National Indian Child Welfare Association.


Read more: http://newsok.com/full-compliance-with-indian-child-welfare-act-not-its-dismantling-is-needed/article/3693790#ixzz21e1Hdvma

Adoption headlines

Moscow Urges US to Provide Access to Adoptees' Ranch | World ... Moscow is calling on Washington to give Russian representatives unhindered access to The Ranch for Kids, a Montana respite care home that looks after ... en.rian.ru/world/20120720/174696737.html

National Adoption Month 2012: Adoptees Up Against Backward ... While honesty and equality is the best policy for adoption law and practice New York has an outdated and unfair law discriminating against adult adoptees who ... unsealedinitiative.blogspot.com/.../adoptees-up-against-backw... We will be posting more in the coming days... Trace

Rebuilding our families

teach family history

In October 2001, Dr. Mary Pipher, a noted psychologist and nationally renowned author, spoke to a large audience at the Garde Arts Center in New London, Connecticut about the importance of rebuilding our families. Her presentation was timely, considering the events of 9-11 and its effects on citizens of this country.

Pipher related that Americans are the hardest working people in the world and consequently, some 45 million adults are on some kind of drug for nerves. America’s stressed-out adult population is adversely affecting our families. Less than one third of families have regular meals together. Parents are overwhelmed. Children develop behavior problems. We are not happy people.

“We must be the change we wish to see in this world,” Pipher said. “We must talk about values and teach our children to value the right things.”

According to this expert, we are missing social skills. We interrupt, act rude and use inappropriate behavior. Television teaches us to buy things. There are some 3,000 ads a day, which is having a cumulative effect on all of us. How many computers and televisions do we need? Do houses really need to be castle-size? We are isolated in big houses. We are becoming dissatisfied and narcissistic, self-obsessed.

In this ever-evolving world, technology is determining how we interact in society. And the way it’s going now, we’re not getting emotionally stronger but more isolated, dejected.

However, Pipher offered some solid solutions to our general unhappiness. Reacquaint your children to large family celebrations. Children need their relatives, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Little ones learn to negotiate and navigate best with family members around the house regularly.

Pipher says the antidote to despair is being helpful. Take an interest in other people’s children. Parent other people’s children, not just your own. Teach children to find pleasure in being helpful. Spend time outdoors. Connect children to useful work. Redefine the meaning of wealth. Teach children to be responsible.

Pipher believes in teaching family history. Tell stories about the ancestors and where they came from. Have a family ritual every night that might include reading poetry, family memories or stories of hope and heroic behavior. If adults behave well in difficult times, children will, too.

Make good conscious choices in two areas: protect from what is harmful and connect to what is beautiful.

We also need to protect our children from the media, from too much television, too much news and even adult conversation. Their developing minds cannot rationalize or discern between daddy’s or mommy’s upcoming business trip and the plane crash on television. Protect the children from violence on television. Teach your children by your own behavior; stress calmness and safety.
Pipher said create quiet time, family time. These tools will rebuild our family in times like these.

...Trace A. DeMeyer (this was an editorial I wrote for the Pequot Times and it's still relevant now)

Adoption headlines

Adopted from China: Finding identity through heritage CNN When Maia Stack returned to the pagoda, or tower, where she had been abandoned as a baby she was overwhelmed by what had happened there 11 years earlier. See all stories on this topic »

Mixed Roots Foundation Shoots for the Stars in Public Service Announcement ... San Francisco Chronicle (press release) Michael Reagan, adopted son of former president Ronald Reagan and actress Jane Wyman will make a call to action for the public to help identify positive role models and streamline more post adoption resources for adoptees and their families. [. See all stories on this topic » San Francisco Chronicle (press release)

Web 1 new result for adoptees

A Push to Open Connecticut Birth Records to Adult Adoptees - News ... Old secrets, new fears and emotional highs and lows — they all come into play when you talk about adoptees finding the truth about their roots. And the feelings ... countytimes.com/articles/.../doc5004200f8a199566323240.txt

Adoption headlines

Adoptee searches for her long-lost birth mother in Colombia ... OregonLive.com Adoptee and Adoption Mosaic executive director Astrid Dabbeni finds her birth mother after 36 years Last December, Astrid Dabbeni, executive director of the ...

US Couple Accused of Tormenting Russian Adoptees Goes to Trial RIA Novosti A US couple accused of tormenting their adopted Russian children will be going to trial, fox6now.com news portal said on Saturday. Court papers say Kathleen ... I plan to post news and stories regularly on this blog... Be well and visit this blog daily! Trace

We are not the past: Overcoming Stereotypes



The Ponca Tribe, Second Edition

James H. Howard
Introduction by Donald N. Brown

New introduction by Judi M. gaiashkibos

Judi M. gaiashkibos, an enrolled member of the Ponca tribe of Nebraska, is executive director of the Nebraska Commission on Indian Affairs and president of the Governor’s Interstate Indian Council.
Her mom was one of the students at the Genoa Indian School, a federally operated boarding school where Native American children received vocational training. The school was open from 1884-1934 and now is a museum.
It served as a training ground for assimilation into white society. Unlike some children, gaiashkibos’ mother went to the school willingly....

“When you say Native American, usually something comes to mind. It is an image, a stereotype. We are very limited in your mind what we can do,” she said, adding that it isn’t a challenge that European descendants have to face.
But one of the messages that she preaches is overcoming preconceived notions.
“Sometimes we are our own worst enemies, but you can’t paint us all with one paintbrush. All Indian people are not all one thing, but we can be everything we think we can be,” gaiashkibos said.



Read more: http://columbustelegram.com/news/local/education/college-profs-learn-about-native-americans/article_dfee44be-c11b-11e1-8b67-0019bb2963f4.html#ixzz1zqZFRgfr

We are not the dead, we are not the past, we are still here... Trace

I need your HELP: Medical Bills Fundraiser

MariJo's books

Boozhoo, Aquay to everyone who reads my blog:

I need your prayers and help for my dear friend poet-author Mari-Jo Moore who was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disease. There is a silent auction/fundraiser planned for Saturday August 25 to raise money for her medical bills. (She has no insurance.) 

You can mail any donations of art, books, beadwork, something you've handmade, certificates, gift cards, etc. I am sending signed copies of my memoir and my new poetry chapbook.  You can also help with cash donations, prayers and ceremony, too.

Mail directly to:

MariJo Moore

19 Hidden Laurel Dr

Candler, NC 28715

This is her blogspot for today:

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Forty-two years ago today, my first son, Dustan Paul Moore, was born. I was seventeen, single and scared beyond belief. Just a few months before, I had graduated from high school, seven months pregnant, without anyone, even my mother, knowing this. Of course I had told the young man who had impregnated me, but he had suggested I have an abortion. This scared me more than giving birth so I stopped talking to him and kept to myself as much as possible.

As a woman who will be sixty next month, I now look back at that scared, lonely seventeen year old and I marvel at her strength, tenacity and fragileness. I also cry because I can see still her, lying in bed at night, praying for help but not knowing who to go to. Praying that she was not pregnant, all the time knowing she was.

Before I gave birth, I had decided to give the baby up for adoption, which seemed the logical thing to do. My mother was against this, but allowed me to make this decision. On the day he was born, when I held him for the first time, I knew I could not let anyone else have him. I felt a love that I had never known existed. I wanted to take him home to my mother’s house and mother him. At the age of eight months, he passed back to Spirit. He had cerebral hemorrhage and didn’t make it through the operation.

I have always felt deep inside that somehow I was responsible for his death.
After all, I kept the pregnancy a secret, I didn’t take prenatal vitamins, and on and on. I didn’t even see a doctor until I was almost eight months pregnant.

I have two good friends who are prenatal nurses and they told me that sometimes the younger mothers, who don’t take good care of themselves, give birth to healthier babies than the older women who are exquisite in taking care during their pregnancies. This helped me but deep inside I know I still carried guilt.

This morning, July 4, I awoke to the realization that it was not my fault.
The doctor, young and inexperienced had taken my baby by force, tearing my vagina in the process and injuring the baby’s head. I know I must have known this all along, but had pushed it so far deep down inside my soul that my guilt covered it totally.

No, I am not blaming anyone for the death of my baby. I am saying that finally I realized that I truly did LOVE him. That I didn’t want him to die and that his death marred my heart and soul in a way that I did not understand until now.

Now I am healing from a rare autoimmune disease that affects my eyes.
They burn and itch from blisters growing on my cornea. My sight is not as it once was. A holistic doctor is treating me and I am changing my diet, etc., doing everything I can to heal my body.

And now that others are praying for me, doing sweats and ceremonies for me, asking for my healing, I am realizing that disease really does mean – dis ease. I have been carrying so much hurt, guilt, pain, disappointment, etc. in my soul that my body had to get my attention to make me deal with these. I am healing all on levels. I am feeling love from so many and I am grateful to be loved.

So, gradually, as I work to heal, and others work to help me heal, my soul is also healing. This is a process, but I know, deeply I know, that all of this is part of my path as a seer, as a medium, as a writer, as a mother, as a grandmother.

Life is full of mystery and we are the mystery.

Her blog is http://marijomoore.com/

RI opens records #ADOPTION

New R.I. law allows access to birth certificate

Effective JULY 2, 2012! (With conditions, of course!)

PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Rhode Island is for the first time allowing people who were adopted to see their birth records. The state Office of Vital Records on Monday will allow adoptees age 25 and over to get copies of their original birth certificates. For some of them, it will be the first time they learn the names of their biological parents.
Gov. Lincoln Chafee (CHAY'-fee) was on hand to personally hand over records to four people. More than 200 certificates are being mailed and 55 have been preordered for pickup.
The new policy is the result of legislation passed last year designed to give adult adoptees more information about their birth parents and health history.
Birth parents are allowed to submit forms stating they do not wish to be contacted.

From the Norwich Bulletin:

"...Formal implementation of the law, signed in 2011, was held off for a time to enable the state to inform birth parents about the legislative change. Paul Schibbelhute, executive director of the American Adoption Congress, said Monday’s ceremony was a big step in the evolution of adoptees’ rights.
“It is a basic human right to have access to a birth certificate,” he said. “All of us have the right to know who our families are.”
Schibbelhute, who reunited with his birth son in 1998, said his group has lobbied for years to loosen access to adoptive records. Rhode Island is the third state, after New Hampshire and Maine, to allow an adoptee to view their birth certificates. He said his group “continues to struggle” to get the same law passed in Connecticut..."

Read more: Putnam man adopted as child finds clue to his roots - Norwich, CT - The Bulletin http://www.norwichbulletin.com/news/x2102591206/Putnam-man-adopted-as-child-finds-clue-to-his-roots#ixzz1zZHbJieR 

For those birthparents reading this: do not deny us our name, history and ancestry, even if you do not meet us - do the right thing!   Trace

What to do if your child is taken: contact NARF

I have been asked what can an Indian parent do to protect their child if the state has taken them into custody. Obviously on reservations, poverty is often cited as a reason. Well, the Indian Child Welfare Act of 1978 is a federal law supposed to prevent the state from removing children to non-Indian homes.

If you are a parent, contact the Native American Rights Fund and their lawyers - first!

The Native American Rights Fund (NARF) is the oldest and largest nonprofit law firm dedicated to asserting and defending the rights of Indian tribes, organizations and individuals nationwide.  NARF's practice is concentrated in five key areas: the preservation of tribal existence; the protection of tribal natural resources; the promotion of Native American human rights; the accountability of governments to Native Americans; and the development of Indian law and educating the public about Indian rights, laws, and issues. 

The online edition of "A Practical Guide to the Indian Child Welfare Act" is intended to answer questions and provide a comprehensive resource of information on the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA). 

Those unfamiliar with ICWA are encouraged to first read the introduction to the Guide
While the topical sections are identical to the print version, the electronic copy has links to thousands of state and federal resources (cases, laws, etc.), updated through September 2011, not found in the print copy.

Introduction

Application Jurisdiction Who has rights under the Act Notice Intervention Emergency removal Transfer Role of tribal courts Recognition of tribal law Tribal-state agreements Foster care placement and removal Active efforts requirement Termination of parental rights

Expert witnesses Access to records for tribal enrollment purposes Placement Voluntary proceedings Adoption Application of other federal laws Enforcement of ICWA requirements Application of standards higher than ICWA requirements Resources

To obtain a print copy of the Guide you may either download a PDF copy for research or educational use or purchase one for a nominal fee.

Appendices
Federal resources State resources Case index A to Z	Tribal Resources Contacts Flow charts	Forms Bibliography NICWA Training

Additional Content:
DHS Title IV-E Policy Sample Title IV-E Agreement
Brochure Copyright

NARF Publications

 

Also read: Fort, Kathryn, Waves of Education: Tribal-State Court Cooperation and the Indian Child Welfare Act (April 6, 2012). Tulsa Law Review, Forthcoming; MSU Legal Studies Research Paper No. 10-06. Available at SSRN: http://ssrn.com/abstract=2035451

http://www.narf.org/icwa/print.htm

Propaganda, more money chanelled to adoption via OXYGEN

Warning: EXTREME ANGER and SWEAR WORDS

First watch their video and read this:
http://www.sheknows.com/entertainment/articles/964841/oxygen-media-set-to-premiere-im-having-their-baby

"Oxygen's new series "I'm Having Their Baby" provides viewers with a look at the adoption experience by chronicling birth mothers as they face the decision whether or not to place their children with another family."

WTF?


NOW: I have a better show idea - go interview the doctors who diagnose the adoptees (and some mothers) with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - or adoptees stuck in mental hospitals - or tell the stories of abusive adoptive homes or children languishing in foster care  - or the struggle to keep families intact in poverty-stricken areas - but NOT THIS.
It would be like torture to watch a woman give up her baby - what kind of idiot would think up something so perverse? What planet are we living on here, folks? What century is this?
Why are their unplanned pregnancies in this modern age? How about having a member of your family raise your child if you can't???
Didn't the media get the message yet? Adoption hurts people and even kills people! Adoptees and some birth moms commit suicide! Hasn't OXYGEN done any research?


Instead OXYGEN chooses to glamourize it - and f'cking plug these celebrity adopters again and again:

"Celebrity adoptions"

"In recent years, a number of prominent celebrities have have adopted children through private domestic adoption and international adoption. Though Angelina Jolie may be the first one to come to mind, she's certainly not alone. Sandra Bullock, Kristin Davis, Edie Falco, Joely Fisher, Katherine Heigl, Hugh Jackman, Diane Keaton, Nicole Kidman (and Tom Cruise), Madonna, Ewan McGregor, Denise Richards, Meg Ryan, Charlize Theron and many more celebrities are adoptive parents.

If celebrities adopt, then it must be OK, right?
THIS is how they promote selling a baby to the highest bidder?

They choose the word "BIRTHMOTHER" when most of us in the blog world call them mothers and first mothers. Again, OXYGEN is not paying attention!

"Adoption from the birth mother's view"

We often see stories of adoption from the point of view of the adoptive parents or the adoptees, but there's a third party to every adoption -- the birth mother.

Oxygen Media recently announced the premiere of its newest docu-series I'm Having Their Baby on Monday, July 23, at 11PM ET/PT. The series aims to provide viewers with a sneak peek into the adoption process by capturing the often untold stories of birth mothers as each one is faced with the difficult decision to place her baby for adoption.
Each hour-long episode chronicles the heart-wrenching, powerful stories of two birth mothers struggling with unplanned pregnancies as they decide whether to place their babies in the hands of another family.

The commodification of infants means more babies for sale and more money, money, money.....


I expect some of you will totally disagree with me. I will email you my memoir if you want it. If you want to understand how an adoptee feels and the toll adoption takes on us, read my book, please.
EMAIL ME: tracedemeyer@yahoo.com

BELOVED STRANGERS: Help this film - give what you can

‘Beloved Strangers’ will be a feature documentary film about adoption, searching and reunion, with an eye-opening segment on the disrespected and discriminated status of adoptees in most U.S. states. Daniella and her group have now set up a website and can now take donations directly. Go to : www.belovedstrangers.com - watch this trailer and give what $$$ you can... Trace

Enrollment issues affecting ICWA children

Archival Photo

Convincing me courts are doing their best to protect Indian Children today - it's just not happening.
The amount of urban Indians who are enrolled or not is part of the problem and a real issue here.
Here is a case from Michigan where the mother said her children were Delaware and entitled to protections under the Indian Child Welfare Act of 1978.
Allowing time for tribes to respond is a big issue since many tribes have few or overworked enrollment officers who can't always get historical information to enroll their members and/or their children who live off rez. If tribes did manage enrollment at birth, it would certainly help.

http://turtletalk.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/20120628_c304669_68_304669-opn.pdf

Making more Native children adoptees is not a solution. Helping American Indian families stay together is federal law!

REVIEW: One Small Sacrifice

Review: One Small Sacrifice

By Cris Carl

Trace A. DeMeyer’s most recent book, “One Small Sacrifice,” expresses the experience of adoption in a well-researched and brutally painful light.  Focusing primarily on the travesties of U.S. adoption policies relating to American Indian families and children, DeMeyer carefully illustrates the damage done to a “tribe” of lost children.  These children often referred to by some tribal peoples as “Lost Birds,” suffer more than potential neglect and abuse.  Even in the most loving and well-intentioned adoptive families the sense of lost identity and abandonment can and has created generations of damaged Indian children, according to DeMeyer.

DeMeyer states that the U.S is one of the world’s biggest adopters, with 20,000 children adopted from around the world in 2002 alone.  Adoption rarely makes headlines, but on February 4, 2010, 10 Baptist congregants from Idaho attempted to steal 33 Haitian children. According to the New York Times the children were held in intolerable conditions, they had no relevant paperwork, and some continued to cry that they had parents until Haitian authorities captured the kidnappers.  The practice of removing non-white children, placing them with white American families has a long and well-established history.

Stealing American Indian children has been an accepted and legal practice in the U.S. since the early 1800’s.  DeMeyer notes in her book that congress passed the “Civilization Fund Act” in 1819, the first in a series of laws and acts intended to assimilate American Indian people’s and undermine tribal customs.  The act “authorized grants to private agencies, primarily churches, to establish programs to ‘civilize the Indian,’” states DeMeyer.

DeMeyer goes on to note the advent of the “large, militarist boarding schools or institutions where Indian children were placed involuntarily  and forced to abandoned their beliefs, customs, and traditions.”  The schools, which were established by the U.S. government and private agencies, lasted well into the 1980’s before they were shut down.  “Severe punishment, in the form of beatings, being chained and shackled, bound hand and foot and locked in closets was not uncommon,” said DeMeyer.  Remember, we’re talking about children here.

DeMeyer speaks often of the government policy known as the Indian Adoption Project, which in the 1950’s used pubic and private agencies to remove and place hundreds of Indian children into non-Indian homes.  The practice lasted until 1978 with the creation of the Indian Child Welfare Act.  “By 1900, after decades of forced removal of Indian children from their families and communities, and the stripping of their culture from them, the natural child protection system that once flourished in every tribal community began to break down,” as DeMeyer quotes Terry Cross.

While DeMeyer carefully spells out elements of genocidal government policies that have been destructive to American Indian culture for hundreds of years, far more powerfully, she tells her own story.  At times, reading One Small Sacrifice, I felt I was watching a disaster in the making. 

Painfully, I sensed what was coming with the foreboding that there was nothing I could do but be a witness. 

However, I also found a far-reaching underlying psychology that can be applied to a wide-range of identity and trauma issues – particularly relating to abandonment. 

One Small Sacrifice is a must-read for anyone dealing with not only the aforementioned issues, but for clinicians who wish to look deeper into adoption’s effects.

Cris Carl, (c)2010, All Rights Reserved