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Dawnland 2018

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

What you need to know about Girl Bullies

Trace in her younger days

Anything had to be better than my childhood. Being back at school was my escape.
I had no clue how to change what was happening at home. Writing in my diary was useful if I had a problem. If I had access to therapy, it would have helped.
Life was simpler then: I thought I knew so much when actually I knew so little.
I didn’t have this great grasp of reality and I wasn’t feeling great about myself. I wanted to be an older jazzier version of me.
Magazines did build my fantasies. Models and musicians were my bigger-than-life role models; all the media hype I believed. No one warned me that gossip rags simply made up stuff.  I became a devoted believer-reader of celebrity trash-talk. Yup, I was naïve. I wanted to be them, not me.
Come to think of it: being jealous all the time was not useful. Those magazines filled my head with what I wasn’t.
So when someone wore new clothes or spoke big words I didn’t understand, I was green with envy. There was plenty I envied. (Of course I knew the Catholic Commandment about coveting and I tried to stop myself.)
I thought my life would actually improve when I got to college; when I was on my own. This idea became constant. This idea kept me relatively sane.
So now its 2010 and school is about to start.  I loved getting ready for my first day back. Then I remembered the two girls who stole what I needed to play the stock market game in my high school social studies class. It bothered me. I didn’t know why they would do something like that to me.
What did I do to them? Nothing.
When my teacher Steve told me their names, it hit me these two girls were bullies.  Nothing I could say to them would make it better.
There are kids who have a mess at home and yes, they might take their frustrations out on other kids and classmates: so they become bullies.
I understand how low self-esteem works. I could have been a bully. It would have been easy. I had plenty to be angry about, especially then.
Something in me snapped. I decided to move past my envy. I decided you have to be a bigger person.
I think about girls who are bullies and bullied today, and how girls are influenced by the media images, just like I was! These bad girl images slam us everyday: be thinner, be prettier, be smarter, be Britney, be Paris.
Repeat after me: I am enough. I am enough.

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Veronica, we adult adoptees are thinking of you today and every day. We will be here when you need us. Your journey in the adopted life has begun, nothing can revoke that now, the damage cannot be undone. Be courageous, you have what no adoptee before you has had; a strong group of adult adoptees who know your story, who are behind you and will always be so.


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As the single largest unregulated industry in the United States, adoption is viewed as a benevolent action that results in the formation of “forever families.”
The truth is that it is a very lucrative business with a known sales pitch. With profits last estimated at over $1.44 billion dollars a year, mothers who consider adoption for their babies need to be very aware that all of this promotion clouds the facts and only though independent research can they get an accurate account of what life might be like for both them and their child after signing the adoption paperwork.

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