“Nope, I am not ever going back there. EVER! You can’t make me!”
I tried to rationalize with my crazy baby brain. I tried to play little games with it. I tried to trick it. I tried to cajole it. I asked it for a miracle, which is merely a change in perception. And still my trauma brain said,
“You can’t make me! You are not the boss of me.”
Well, shoot here I am stuck with this triggered trauma brain who has decided to become oppositional – defiant, and I had grown-up things that I needed to do. Every time I even thought about going back I hit that proverbial brick wall.
I can’t even begin to tell you how ridiculously it is frustrating it is when your own brain choses to defy logic.
Having exhausted everything I could think of to get stupid brain unstuck, I did the only thing left I could think of…I asked for help. I reached out to Lisa, a friendly fellow blogger who has been parenting a child from trauma for several years now and I asked her what she had I their tool box I could try. She said,
“Rub and tap.”
What the what?
Lisa, with her sweet-self took the time to talk me through it. That woman is something special!
“Psychological Reversals (Rubbing) Think of Rubbing as rubbing out a stain. The negative thought or belief is always stated first and the opposite positive phrase is stated last. Do it 3 times by rubbing gently on the sore spots on your chest. It is a gentle circular motion.” Lisa-Life in a Grateful House
And this is the one specifically for trauma and abuse:
And for as silly as it looks, guess what? It worked. Not like a miracle cure and I will never struggle with anxiety from PTSD anymore. But, like I went back. I walked back through the doors. I faced triggers. I acted like a grown-up. My brain functioned like a grown-up’s. I took care of my responsibilities. I managed my instinct to freeze.
I tap, tap, tapped, Rub, rub, rubbed and hooped my way through it.
(and that it’s WAY better than being wrapped in blankets and sat on!)