How to Use this Blog

Howdy! We've amassed tons of information and important history on this blog since 2010. If you have a keyword, use the search box below. Also check out the reference section above. If you have a question or need help searching, use the contact form at the bottom of the blog.

ALSO, if you buy any of the books at the links provided, the editor will earn a small amount of money or commission. (we thank you) (that is our disclaimer statement)

This is a blog. It is not a peer-reviewed journal, not a sponsored publication... The ideas, news and thoughts posted are sourced… or written by the editor or contributors.

2017: 3/4 million Visitors/Readers! This blog was ranked #49 in top 100 blogs about adoption. Let's make it #1...

Search This Blog

Lost Children Book Series

Friday, August 7, 2015

Adoptees should be able to annul their relationship with their adoptive parents

Adults deserve the right to decide whether or not to honor the contract that binds them to an adoptive family
Mother holding child’s hand
Children have no say in their adoption as minors, but they should as adults. Photograph: Tatjana Alvegard/Getty Images
 
Like approximately 5 million other Americans, I’m adopted. As a child, my biological parents gave me up to other people to raise. The subject of the contract between my adoptive parents and the state – me – didn’t agree to anything. I had no more say in the matter than my house did when I signed a contract to buy it.

Still, the public perception is that adoption is always a good thing – that it’s always in the best interest of the child, and that everyone lives happily ever after. But many adoptions don’t work out for a number of reasons: a mismatch of personalities, parental inability to love someone else’s child, outright dislike of the child by one or both parents.

When an adoption goes bad, like mine did, adoptive parents have options to end the relationship. Some parents have put children on an airplane alone and sent them back to their home countries. Other parents turn to a shadowy underground network to “re-home” their children with strangers. But if an adoptee wants to get out of an adoptive relationship, the only option is to be adopted by another adult – even if the adoptee is an adult.

This doesn’t make sense; adoptees should, upon reaching adulthood, have the absolute right to annul the adoption if desired.

Look at it this way: suppose you got married and it didn’t work out. You file divorce papers and are told that the only way you can divorce spouse number one is to marry somebody else. Sounds unfair, right? But once you’re adopted, you’re adopted forever – whether or not you want to maintain a familial relationship with the people who adopted you. That’s not fair either.

I already hear people arguing that non-adopted people can’t end their relationship with their parents. But that’s not really true. Children can apply for early emancipation, or they can find another adult to adopt them no matter how old they are.

Annulling an adoption does present logistical problems, because states require that a parent be listed on the birth certificate. And, when my adoption was finalized, my original birth certificate was permanently altered: the state erased the names of my genetic parents and replaced them with the names of the people who adopted me. My original birth certificate and all my adoption records were sealed by the State of California which, to this day, denies me access to that documentation even though my birth parents are deceased.

If one or both biological parents are willing to re-assume that role in an adoptee’s paperwork, then it should be easy to just discard the revised version and revert to the original – but it’s not. And if neither biological parent wishes to be re-listed, then adult adoptees should have the right to simply be listed as parentless. I’d be satisfied with “unknown” or “none”. And, moving forward, states should consider not altering birth certificates at all and instead just issue adoptive parents an “Adoption Decree” that can be easily voided with a court filing.

Logistical problems notwithstanding, adult adoptees deserve the right to decide whether or not to honor the contract that binds them to an adoptive family. If adoptive parents didn’t uphold the “parents” part, they shouldn’t get to keep a legal connection with the kids that they failed. There needs to be an easy, standard way for adopted children to annul those relationships.

1 comment:

  1. This is the smartest idea I have ever heard .If lawyers and people in high offices can't wrap this around their heads then the new race of people should be their robots that look like them with an on and off switch .HA

    ReplyDelete

Please: Share your reaction, your thoughts, and your opinions. Be passionate, be unapologetic. Offensive remarks will not be published. We are getting more and more spam. Comments will be monitored.

Across North America

Accept nothing less

Every. Day.

Every. Day.
adoptees take back adoption narrative and reject propaganda

To Veronica Brown

Veronica, we adult adoptees are thinking of you today and every day. We will be here when you need us. Your journey in the adopted life has begun, nothing can revoke that now, the damage cannot be undone. Be courageous, you have what no adoptee before you has had; a strong group of adult adoptees who know your story, who are behind you and will always be so.

Join!

National Indigenous Survivors of Child Welfare Network (NISCWN)

Membership Application Form

The Network is open to all Indigenous and Foster Care Survivors any time.

The procedure is simple: Just fill out the form HERE.

Source Link: NICWSN Membership

Read this SERIES

Read this SERIES
click image

ADOPTION TRUTH

As the single largest unregulated industry in the United States, adoption is viewed as a benevolent action that results in the formation of “forever families.”
The truth is that it is a very lucrative business with a known sales pitch. With profits last estimated at over $1.44 billion dollars a year, mothers who consider adoption for their babies need to be very aware that all of this promotion clouds the facts and only though independent research can they get an accurate account of what life might be like for both them and their child after signing the adoption paperwork.

Our Fault? (no)