How to Use this Blog

Howdy! We've amassed tons of information and important history on this blog since 2010. If you have a keyword, use the search box below. Also check out the reference section above. If you have a question or need help searching, use the contact form at the bottom of the blog.

ALSO, if you buy any of the books at the links provided, the editor will earn a small amount of money or commission. (we thank you) (that is our disclaimer statement)

This is a blog. It is not a peer-reviewed journal, not a sponsored publication... The ideas, news and thoughts posted are sourced… or written by the editor or contributors.


2016: Over a half million Visitors/Readers! This blog was ranked #49 in top 100 blogs about adoption. Let's make it #1...

Search This Blog

Friday, March 10, 2017

Adoptees on Healing: Suicide


Topics We Discussed

  • Are adoptees four times more likely to attempt suicide? 
  • Research shows a link between higher risk of suicide and adoption
  • Trauma associated with adoption (separation from one’s mother), we can struggle with trust and attachment as children and as adults
  • Abuse and neglect (separation, can include foster care) can exacerbate adoption trauma (anxiety, depression, hopelessness, self harm). All of these factors can increase risk of wanting to die
  • Some adoptees feel different and disconnected from their adoptive families 
  • Society and some adoptive parents can tell us, “you’re special, you must be grateful” and this can create an environment that’s invalidating
  • When your emotional experiences are invalidated/rejected/judged emotional distress can worsen and can feel hopeless
  • There’s also a genetic link to suicide, so people who have a biological marker of depression or suicide are at greater risk; combining that with adoption trauma can have a ‘double whammy’ for risk 
  • Warning signs can be feeling like you don’t want to get out of bed, lacking motivation, using alcohol to escape, looking for material or means to commit suicide, withdrawing from friends and family, sleeping too much or too little, calling people to say goodbye or writing notes to loved ones, giving away belongings
  • If you have a plan or are seriously thinking of suicide please reach out for support 1-877-273-TALK (8255) 
  • You deserve help, you deserve to live
  • Finding someone to talk to, having a support network in place; needs to be someone who will listen without judgement
  • Misconception: people who die by suicide are selfish. That is not true, people who are suicidal are in an extreme amount of emotional pain and think that suicide is their only way to end the pain.
  • Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem
  • The most important way to support some that is suicidal is to listen without judgement; offer your support and let them know that you’re there for them. Don’t cheerlead or try and talk them out of it. If people aren’t allowed to express their pain they can’t get to a place to problem solve and heal.
  • If someone is putting their plan into action, your top priority is their safety. Call 911. Let them know that you really care for them and want them to live. 
  • 1-877-273-TALK (8255) suicide hotline for the US; google “crisis centre” “distress line” “suicide hotline” to find your local hotline.
  • Interventions that are most helpful for adoptees
  • DBT - Dialectical Behaviour Therapy  ( can be helpful for a variety of issues (high intensity of emotions, self harm, anxiety, difficulty regulating emotions)
  • Next steps would be EMDR (, mindfulness, self compassion, body somatic therapy, body-mind therapy. Interventions with a professional
  • Building a support network and support group with other adoptees to decrease the feelings of isolation

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please: Share your reaction, your thoughts, and your opinions. Be passionate, be unapologetic. Offensive remarks will not be published. We are getting more and more spam. Comments will be monitored.


Are you still searching?

Every. Day.

Every. Day.
adoptees take back adoption narrative and reject propaganda

To Veronica Brown

Veronica, we adult adoptees are thinking of you today and every day. We will be here when you need us. Your journey in the adopted life has begun, nothing can revoke that now, the damage cannot be undone. Be courageous, you have what no adoptee before you has had; a strong group of adult adoptees who know your story, who are behind you and will always be so.

Read this SERIES

Read this SERIES
click image


National Indigenous Survivors of Child Welfare Network (NISCWN)

Membership Application Form

The Network is open to all Indigenous and Foster Care Survivors any time.

The procedure is simple: Just fill out the form HERE.

Source Link: NICWSN Membership

Customer Review

Thought-provoking and moving 11 October 2012
Two Worlds - Lost children of the Indian Adoption Projects

If you thought that ethnic cleansing was something for the history books, think again. This work tells the stories of Native American Indian adoptees "The Lost Birds" who continue to suffer the effects of successive US and Canadian government policies on adoption; policies that were in force as recently as the 1970's. Many of the contributors still bear the scars of their separation from their ancestral roots. What becomes apparent to the reader is the reality of a racial memory that lives in the DNA of adoptees and calls to them from the past.
The editors have let the contributors tell their own stories of their childhood and search for their blood relatives, allowing the reader to gain a true impression of their personalities. What becomes apparent is that nothing is straightforward; re-assimilation brings its own cultural and emotional problems. Not all of the stories are harrowing or sad; there are a number of heart-warming successes, and not all placements amongst white families had negative consequences. But with whom should the ultimate decision of adoption reside? Government authorities or the Indian people themselves? Read Two Worlds and decide for yourself.


As the single largest unregulated industry in the United States, adoption is viewed as a benevolent action that results in the formation of “forever families.”
The truth is that it is a very lucrative business with a known sales pitch. With profits last estimated at over $1.44 billion dollars a year, mothers who consider adoption for their babies need to be very aware that all of this promotion clouds the facts and only though independent research can they get an accurate account of what life might be like for both them and their child after signing the adoption paperwork.

from pinterest

Our Fault? (no)

Leland at Goldwater Protest


A photo posted by defendicwa (@defendicwa) on